It is really interesting to me that i have spent so much time blogging about the worship, here as most people who know me know that musical singing worship is something that I really struggle with, and that is not just because of my bad singing.
tonight Ro fields lead worship which I was really happy about, as he is someone who I have watched a lot on god tv over this last while, and someone who I have grwon in respect for as a worship leader, as he out of all the worship leaders here, seems to have the real god given gift, of being able to lead worship without intruding or invading on my worship.
there was plenty of space in the worship for me to connect and relate to god in whatever way and time that I wanted.
The only way that I can describe it, and it is an imperfect description, is that we go on a jounrey. The jouney end is meeting with God, but what the worship leaders do so well is basically just provide the vehicle for us to go on the journey.
the problem I have found with a number of other worship leaders is that they don't just provide the vehicle, but they try to drive and use their own directions, and we end up going on their journey rather than having our own.
So tonight was great, being able to go go on a journey into a relaitonmship with god, in the way, adn the time that I wanted too.
When it came to prayer and ministry at the end of the meeting, it was clear to me that a group next to me at the front, were more interested in their laughter, and flaling around rather than in Jesus. There was no praise or anything resembling any acknowledgement of Jesus at all.
I have no probs with people falling over, or laughing lots in the spirt, as all of that is criptural, but generally to me it comes with praising Jesus, and in any case he is the centre of our praise.
I really wanted healing for my eyes tonight, and Kevin said that my left eye was blinking like a normal eye would and he also thought that the right eye had opened up a bit as well.
Whilst stood at the front, someone grabbed my hand in a very reassuring way, but Kevin said that he hadn't and that there had been noone near me. Could this have been the reassuring hand of God, or of an angel, either is possible, but it wasn't anybody there in the meeting.
at the time of writing this post, ie, 1.15 am us time, 6.15 am uk time I am still blind, but have felt a lot of heat around both eyes and an increased level of brightness as well.
A great woman of God called constance prayed for me at the end, and it was interesting that everytime she said peekaboo that I could really feel the presence of god's spirit, and she just wanted to pray and pray for me to be healed. She said she was not going to give up,a nd this was really reassuring to me.
Even though I am not fully healed yet, god could do it in my sleep, or during a meeting tomorow, or even on the way home, or even when I get home. But I do know, and have becomed even more assured, that he is going to heal me at some point.
Please do keep praying, but only pray please if you are totally convinced and blieve that god is going to heal my eyes, pray in expectation, not in hope any more. There is no room for hope, I am living in expectation now.
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